Torn

Last year, I met a man at work who I will refer to as John(not his real name).  John has had a really rough time the past few years. John is homeless and lives out of his car at a truck stop in Oklahoma City.  At one time, John had a good life.  Now he sleeps in his car, takes a shower at the truck stop, then gets dressed and goes to work. John is in retail sales.  If you saw him you would never know he is homeless.  He wears a 3 piece suit to work and he is by far the best dressed homeless man I have ever seen! 

About 2 months ago his car broke down.  The only use the car is to him now is a place to sleep.  He doesn’t have any way of getting to  work now, so he can’t afford to get his car fixed or to be able to save to afford a new one.  The crazy thing is his boss still wants him to come back to work – even after not working for 2 months.  I have been torn up about what I need to  do.  I have even thought about giving him my car, but then what would that mean for me and my family.

A few months ago, I found John a place to live for free so that he could get his car fixed, he refused.  The reason he told me he refused is because of his past, he is a convicted sex offender.  John told me the story when I first met him a year ago and he says he was falsely convicted.  At times I have wondered if he is being truthful with me but for some reason my heart pours out to him.  It hurts me every time I talk to him.   I do not want to enable him, I want him to do things on his own, but as Christians I know that we are called to help each other and to show love to each other. The help I have offered he won’t accept, probably because of his past he is afraid he will get beaten up in a homeless shelter.

All I know is John is gripped by fear. He is paralyzed from his past and can’t or won’t do anything to help himself.  He has a story, just as everyone does.  He struggles with why would God allow all of these things to happen to him.  He did finally agree to counseling this week and I am very excited about that.  But for now, I am still trying to help figure out John’s transportation situation and being able to get him back to work and eventually being able to find him a place to live.  Thoughts and prayers are appreciated.