I just finished reading a book called the No Complaining Rule by Jon Gordon. It really made me think of how easy it is to complain when things don’t go the way we planned.  Some of the things that can frustrate me and then I may complain about it:

• Traffic or people not driving the way I think they should
• Standing in line at the store and they don’t open additional registers, especially since they have 30 but only 3 are open
• When work doesn’t go the way I planned
• OU football team loses
• My wife makes dinner and I have to wait an extra 10 minutes for it to cook
• Gaining weight even though I don’t exercise or eat right.  

I am sure I could add other things to this list.  I do have a choice though.  As the book states, I can jump on the positive road or the negative road.  MY CHOICE!   

So why is it so easy to jump on the negative road?  

I want to share a couple of things from the book that stand out to me:

• One negative person can create a miserable office environment for everyone else.
• Mindless complaining cultivates negativity- this sabotages morale and performance.
• If you have a complaint, take it only to someone who is in a position to address the complaint. Also share one or two possible solutions to your complaint.

What am I going to do about complaining? Well, I decided to do a no complaining FAST, taking it one day at a time. I also have asked for someone’s help in holding me accountable.  My desire is for my co-workers, family and friends to notice the change in my behavior. 

What makes you complain and what can you do to change your behavior?

A few years ago I was very confused on why someone doesn’t call if they can’t make it to volunteer or to go on a mission. I didn’t understand it, I thought everyone called or emailed when they couldn’t make an appointment.   The questions ran through my head – why don’t they come to meetings, why do they leave early, why won’t they do this and why won’t they do that?  Why do some greeters not say hello and smile? Why do the small groups not last?  It made me think that people just aren’t very committed.

Then I was watching Andy Stanley at a Catalyst conference and what he said changed my thinking.  He said maybe the system is broken.  As I listened to his message, I finally realized I was blaming everyone else when all I had to do was look in the mirror.  The things I was questioning were important, but my systems were broken, I was the problem.  It was time for me to re-evaluate my systems. I had to take a hard look at what was broken and fix it. I wish I could say it was easy and painless, but I would be lying. I slowly started making baby steps to correct my issues or should I say systems on my team. Eventually it started to work.

So as I leave you today I would like for you to think about something that isn’t working, ie  “My employees, kids, students will not _________! ”

Maybe it isn’t them, it could be your system is broken.